We're All Going To Jail!

by Jed Davis

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1.
02:23
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2.
04:19
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3.
04:05
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4.
01:20
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5.
02:14
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6.
03:29
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7.
01:42
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8.
01:47
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9.
01:34
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10.
03:59
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11.
01:32
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12.
02:04
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13.
03:11
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14.
00:37
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15.
03:16
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16.
03:26
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17.
01:21
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18.
03:58
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19.
03:12
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20.
03:46
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21.
05:35
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22.
02:54
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23.
07:07
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credits

released 01 March 1997
© 1997 Jed Davis

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tags: all genres alternative indie rock New York

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Track Name: Happy Black Steamroller
Happy black steamroller
Happy black steamroller
Happy black steamroller
Crushed by the happy black steamroller
Track Name: Starlet
Tell us more of strength and class and dignity, my love
As we trap you under glass and watch you pose, my love
You can stuff yourself with fish eggs and champagne, my love
But tonight, your shit will smell like shit. Too bad, my love

Someday you will be old, and someday you will die, my love

Be the model of perfection
Be the pinnacle of grace
As the tabloids proudly tell us what it took to make your face
And we know what makes you fuss
And we know what makes you cuss
And we watch you on TV as you pretend to be us

And we see you when you're sleeping
And we hear you on the phone
And we've seen you in the bathroom
And we've seen you all alone
And we've seen you hurt
And we've seen you cry
And we've even seen...

Well, of course you never get what you deserve, my love
And of course it's everybody's fault but yours, my love
We've all seen your tits; you can put your tits away, my love
And if you've got nothing new to add, shut up, my love.

Someday you will be old, and someday you will die, my love

Be the model of perfection
Be the pinnacle of grace
As the tabloids proudly tell us what it took to make your face
And we know what makes you fuss
And we know what makes you cuss
And we watch you on TV as you pretend to be us

And we see you when you're sleeping
And we hear you on the phone
And we've seen you in the bathroom
And we've seen you all alone
And we've seen you hurt
And we've seen you cry
And we've even seen...
Track Name: The Shower
Worms eat shit and they never complain
All they ever ask for is a little bit of rain
Just a shower on their bodies, so squishy and round
To rinse off all the daylight and to soften the ground.

Little miss sunshine, do you hate the rain?
Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
Worms need water on their clammy skin
And I'm nothing but a worm to you.

Would you like to cut my head off?
Would you like to see me squirm?
Would you like to see me shrivel in the sun?
Well, I'm standing in the shower on a chilly afternoon
As I run out of hot water and my hands begin to prune...

A shower is a potent and mysterious thing
For no apparent reason it can move you to sing
When I'm standing in the shower I'm completely alone
I am securely protected from the door and the phone.

But somehow the curtain doesn't keep out the sun
A little light always gets in
And sooner or later I will have to step out
And another crappy day will begin.

Would you like to cut my head off?
Would you like to see me squirm?
Would you like to see me shrivel in the sun?
Well, I'm standing in the shower on a chilly afternoon
As I run out of hot water and my hands begin to prune...

I thought I had some privacy, I guess I was wrong
I thought I was alone, I should have known all along
You shine around the blackest cloud and slip through every crack
I try to shut you out, but you worm your way back

Little miss sunshine, do you hate the rain?
Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
Worms need water on their clammy skin
And I'm nothing but a worm to you.

Would you like to cut my head off?
Would you like to see me squirm?
Would you like to see me shrivel in the sun?
I could linger in the water, I could scrub and scrub all day
But I won't get any cleaner, and it won't wash you away.
Track Name: Little Tumors
You've got seven little tumors on your ribcage
You've got a roommate who can't stand you 'cause you felt up his ex.
There's a girl who screwed you over eighteen months ago
And the only thing you want is her back.

You've got an open pack of cigarettes you can't touch
You've got best friends who you can't even talk to anymore.
There's a girl who screwed around with all your best friends, too
And the only thing you want is her back.

But from pain comes inspiration
And the portrait of Shakespeare on the wall stares in awe of you.

You've got a roommate who can use you to get back at his ex
You've got best friends who forgive you when they need something.
You've got seven little tumors and they're all benign
So it's okay to start smoking again.

Too bad you're boring as shit now
And breasts from eighteen months ago obscure the page in front of you.
Track Name: Phreak
One key watches and one key hears
One key blinds you, one pops your ears

One key searches and one pulls strings
Strike the right key and touch all things

Phreak freely
Save us, please.

One key searches and one pulls strings
Strike the right key and touch all things
All things

I will not pay
I will not be caught
I will laugh forever
In a back room
In the ashes of the tangible
I control the credit cards and
I create the silverboxes
I know all the frequencies
And secret 1-800 numbers
I will not pay
I will not be caught
I will dial A-B-C-D
Crank call the president
I will not pay
I will not be caught
I will laugh forever
I will live forever
I will live forever ever
There is something
More powerful than anything
And I have it.
Track Name: Anthropology
Only Lucy can dig up the rest of me
Only Lucy can figure out what's happened to me.

She's a tree that falls when there's no one around
And she's a hand that claps into no other hand
She's a tree that falls when there's no one around
And she's a hand that claps into no other hand

Oh, tree that falls when there's no one around
Please let my ear be the ear that gives you sound
And hand that claps into no other hand
Won't you please clap into mine?
Track Name: Good Movie
This guy named Jesse
He made a movie
He worked for hours
And hours on end
He thought out plot twists
For entertainment value
He wrought a screenplay
And then he filmed and filmed and filmed

You had some money
You bought a camera
You had some candy
Laying around
Your friends came over
You filmed them eating
Threw in some music
And you made art and art and art

And meanwhile Jesse
Was blocking angles
And checking lighting
And buying props
And finding actors
(And dealing with them)
And shooting retakes
And then he spliced and spliced and spliced

But you knew someone
Who knew someone
Who knew someone
Who gave awards
And so you entered
Your friends and candy
It was so brilliant
Of course it won and won and won

And meanwhile Jesse
Made a good movie
It had some action
It had big laughs
It didn't insult
Anyone's intellect
But he didn't become
An establishment superstar
'Cause his film wasn't brilliant like yours
It was not art
It was not art
It was not art.
Track Name: Cigarette
Warm coat pocket in the cold uptown
And I dig deep down
But my cigarettes are in
The little red box on a dresser in my room
As I spit into the gloom
Of a long afternoon
And this realization sparks a heart palpitation
With increased perspiration
Man, I hope it's not the big one
Sweating in the cold, and I though I was stronger
But I can't go on much longer
And I really need a cigarette I really need a cigarette

I'm jonesing.

I've got people to see
I've got battles to fight
I haven't had a cigarette
Since 10 last night
If I don't get one soon - this afternoon
I'll never get through it
It's a good way to quit
But a bad day to do it.

Warm coat pocket in the cold uptown
And I dig deep down
But my cigarettes are in
The little red box on a dresser in my room
As I spit into the gloom
Of a long afternoon
And this realization sparks a heart palpitation
With increased perspiration
Man, I hope it's not the big one
You're all a bunch of faggots
And you're all a bunch of sheep
And you're all a load of shit
And I really need a cigarette I really need a cigarette

I'm jonesing.

I've got people to see
I've got battles to fight
I haven't had a cigarette
Since 10 last night
If I don't get one soon - this afternoon
I'll never get through it
It's a good way to quit
But a bad day to do it.
Track Name: Hippopotami
Set the scene: the Amazon
See natives dance without much on
The water's blue, so is the sky
So where are the hippopotami?

Without this scene, my film will rot
I need those fuckers for this shot
I'm on a schedule, so I cry:
"Get me the hippopotami!"

Cover every inch of ground
Dredge the river 'til they're found
Drain the swamp until it's dry
In search of the hippopotami

Even the wildest boar shows up on time
And the elephant never forgets his lines
Hyenas laugh, but at least they don't lie
Not so for the hippopotami

We paid those bastards two percent
And now we don't know where they went
I just can't stay a rational guy
Without the hippopotami

They're on vacation in the Nile
So I'll substitute a crocodile
And from now on, I just won't try
To work with hippopotami.
Track Name: I'm In Love With A Junkie
The mind is machinery
Fragile, sterile circuitry
And though you are beauty
You grow in stuff that's bad for me.

Half the lights are blown out
And the rest are dimming fast
And the plugs are disconnecting
From the sockets in the wall
And the switchboard operator
Simply gives up and goes home
As the dirt covers all
And a wildflower grows.

In a garden
In a greenhouse
in the safety of my clumsy, pure affection
Where nothing can hurt you
And nothing can hurt me
I'd plant you there right now
But I'm afraid you'd never let me

Half the lights are blown out
And the rest are dimming fast
And the plugs are disconnecting
From the sockets in the wall
And the switchboard operator
Simply gives up and goes home
As the dirt covers all
And a wildflower grows.
Track Name: Little Tumors (reprise)
You've got seven little tumors on your ribcage
You've got a roommate who can't stand you 'cause you felt up his ex.
There's a girl who screwed you over eighteen months ago
And the only thing you want is her back.

You've got an open pack of cigarettes you can't touch
You've got best friends who you can't even talk to anymore.
There's a girl who screwed around with all your best friends, too
And the only thing you want is her back.

But from pain comes inspiration
And the portrait of Shakespeare on the wall stares in awe of you.

You've got a roommate who can use you to get back at his ex
You've got best friends who forgive you when they need something.
You've got seven little tumors and they're all benign
So it's okay to start smoking again.

Too bad you're boring as shit now
And breasts from eighteen months ago obscure the page in front of you
The blank white page in front of you
The empty blank that lies
Right in front of you.
Track Name: Long Island
Well, he raises one eyebrow and says,
"Here's a switch -
You claim you're from Long Island,
But you're not rich.
I bet you live on a hill
Behind a big stone wall
And spend your Grumman millions
Every week at the mall
Ain't your teenage daughter
In the loony bin?
Don't you start thinking condo
When the blacks move in
To your shingled neighborhood
Clean streets and sun
And pizza pies
For everyone

"Ain't the golden rule
That you hold so true
'Love thy neighbor
Till he gets a nicer car than you?'
And don't you squeeze your kids
Till their brains leak out
When you need something to brag about?
They give you something to brag about."
Hey!

Well, she raises one eyebrow and says,
"You're a stitch -
You claim you're from Long Island,
But you're not rich.
Can you afford your Gap?
Your Drakkar and Clinique?
Can you afford enough hairspray
To last you a week?
Do you stay up late for info
On the Billy Joel show
Reading Amy Fisher bios
By the Shoreham glow
In the big old comfy room
That's yours alone
With locking door
And private phone?

"Do you customize the woofers
On your new IROC
So you can hear the bass pumping
From around the block?
And fuck 'em if the neighbors
Bitch about the noise
'Cause they're not down with the Strong Island Boys.
Those wacky Strong Island Boys
Don't you love your Strong Island Boys?"
Track Name: GerryWeLuvU
Gerry, we love it when you shake your ass.
Would you shake it again, please?

Gerry, we're blowing our lids
Even all the guys want to have your kids
We want your hair, we need your dance
And we even dig the stain on the crotch of your pants

Gerry, we love it when you shake your ass.
Would you shake it again, please?
Track Name: Reorganizing My Phonebook
I've got an awful lot of work to do
In my phonebook
Bring it up to date

Got to make sure all my friends are listed
In my phonebook
Bring it up to date

And you know, it's amazing how the names
Keep on changing.
Track Name: What A Girl Wants (Is A Coke)
He gazes at her and makes her offers
Opens up his soul and pants and coffers
Tries to stain her teflon glance
He brags and winks and thinks he has a chance

(She's so thirsty) All she really wants is a Coke.

He wants her to be his Eden
Boy, her ego digs the feeding
He thinks violins and flowers
Passion, lust and glowing summer hours.

(She's so tired) All she really wants is some sleep.

Who will think of him at twilight?
Who will miss him when he's gone?
Who will think of him at twilight?
Who will miss him when he's gone?

(She's so bored and) All she really wants is to watch T.V.

(She's so bored and) All she really wants is someone else.

(She's so thirsty) All she really wants is a Coke.

Who will think of him at twilight?
Who will miss him when he's gone?
Track Name: The Dildo Does Not Belong
Peach
Plum
Apple
Lemon
Dildo
Lime
Grape
Orange

Which of these 8 things does not belong?

The dildo does not belong.
Track Name: Saratoga
Lady, let's run off to Saratoga
Don't pack, we'll buy new stuff when we get there
Lady, let's blow the summer in sweet style
Yellow light in a midnight of velvet blue.

On the long drive up to Saratoga
We could chat as we listen to Ween
Through midmorning hazes, we'd cruise and trade gazes
That mean just what I hope they'd mean

Lady, let's run off to Saratoga
Don't pack, we'll buy new stuff when we get there
Lady, let's blow the summer in sweet style
Yellow light in a midnight of velvet blue.

First we'll stop in Spa Park for a picnic
Smiling happily under clear skies
Then down overgrown paths we'll head for the baths
And just maybe you'll let me uncover my eyes

We could catch a nice soda at Woolworth's
Or just slip straight ahead into town
We'll have cute movie moments and round out the day
Holding hands in the park as the sun goes down

Lady, let's run off to Saratoga
Don't pack, we'll buy new stuff when we get there
Lady, let's blow the summer in sweet style
Yellow light in a midnight of velvet blue.

There are so many things
Happy wonderful things
Things that we'll never do
'Cause you don't like me.
Track Name: Seafarer
I don't know where I'm headed, and I do not really care
I just want to get home soon, for my love is waiting there
And if I do not make it back, one thing I know for sure
Is I will live insider her heart and soul forever more
And my exact location is a mystery to me
I'm floating here upon the ocean, lost, I'm lost at sea

I'm drifting, drifting
So many miles from shore
Feels like I've got the whole world on my shoulders

I thought about her all the time, and soon I did conclude
That several things she always did were really kind of rude
And then a thought stole in, and I began to realize
That several times I saw her turn her gaze on other guys
And some old premonition hit I feel now and again:
That while I'm drifting, she's out drinking up with other men

I'm drifting, drifting
So many miles from shore
Feels like I've got the whole world on my shoulders

So now I'll hoist the sails again and float to parts unknown
That bitch can have her booze and stiffs, I'm better off alone

I'm drifting, drifting
Awash forevermore
Feels like God took the whole world off my shoulders
Track Name: Didn't Think So
If I went away, would it make you sad?
Track Name: When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Policeman
"The cop is a phenomenon, unto himself. He is a paranoiac. He is a megalomaniac. He can be a sadist. He can be vicious and cruel. He can be nice and sweet, especially if he wants something. He can break the laws that he pretends to be enforcing, with impunity. He is very sensitive to being called names, and tends to react the only way he knows how. He is armed to the teeth, with clubs, chemicals, gases, firearms, and the most frightening weapon of all, righteous indignation. He tends to be stupid, and un-educated, and very aware of his shortcomings, although he doesn't appreciate people's comments on them. He travels in packs or gangs, and feels a certain degree of security when he is with his own kind. His word is taken without question in all courts, and he relies on this....

"When confronted on the street by the police, a common emotion for a person to feel is fear. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact, it's quite healthy, but do not show it to the cop. If the cop realizes you are afraid of him, he will take full advantage of the situation and play on your fear. This doesn't mean to act belligerently, and, for God's sake, do not be a high school or college lawyer, and explain to the cop what he can and cannot do. He can do anything, he's got the gun."
-William Powell
Track Name: My Brother's On A One-Way Flight To Heaven
The plane went down two weeks ago; my brother was inside
And that night as I cooked dinner I'd swear I heard him screaming as he died
Voices coming from the pots and pans as I began to cook
Was it just coincidence, or should I read the book?

My brother's on a one-way flight to Heaven
And God only knows where his luggage ended up.

The plane went down two weeks ago; the letter came today
My brother's name was on the front in type all smudged and gray
Oh I'd love to have seen their faces - oh, they must have been all smiles
When those bastards totalled up and sent his frequent flyer miles

My brother's on a one-way flight to Heaven
And God only knows where his luggage ended up.
Track Name: I Wave To You
There will come a time
When I will sing this song for the last time
I had good things to say
So I called my friends and no one was home
And there will come a time
When I'll have good things to say for the last time
I hope that time is not this time
But what if it is?

I scream in mute euphoria
I shine in blind euphoria
I wave to you and go away
I run in dark paralysis

There will come a time
When I will think of you for the last time
I had some things to say
So I called my friends and no one was home
And there will come a time
When I will think of you for the last time
I know that time is not this time
But God, I wish it was.

I scream in mute euphoria
I shine in blind euphoria
I wave to you and go away
I run in dark paralysis

This shit shouldn't happen by telephone
And it shouldn't happen when you're in your house alone
It was a one minute to midnight Cuban missile crisis
Man, I played it wrong
But you had to call me up and call me on it
Now you're finally in a song

Just an inch from my hand, on the table sits
A little telephone receiver, see how it fits
Into its cradle on the table, but it lifts out so easily
I could pick it up and dial it
And fix everything that's wrong with me

I will I won't I will I won't I will I won't I will I won't

All the lights are off, but I know it's there
It's nasty, black and shiny, greasy, flat and square
Just an inch from my fingers, stretching, lonely fingers
Reaching down and down
With a click, a tone, a ring, a ring, a click, I could be
Right back in your town

But this shit shouldn't happen by telephone
And it shouldn't happen when you're in your house alone
It was a one minute to midnight Cuban missile crisis
Man, I played it wrong
But you had to call me up and call me on it
Now you're finally in a song

I will I won't I will I won't I will I won't I will I won't

There will come a time
When I will sing this song for the last time
I had something to say
So I called you up, but no one was home
And there will come a time
When I will call you up for the last time
I wish that time was not this time
But man, I think it was.

I scream in mute euphoria
I shine in blind euphoria
I wave to you and go away
I run in dark paralysis

I wave to you and go away
I wave to you and go away
I wave to you and go away
I wave to you and go away.